DM 029 Newsletter

Total warriors from this arena = 1211

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DM 029 Newsletter

DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date : 01/07/2026 Duedate: 01/20/2026

LAPUR ARENA

DM 29 TURN 1037

This Week's Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

BRINE SUSPECT
BLUE HERRINGS (566)
(29-6903) [11-11-1,115]

Chartered Recognition Leader Unchartered Recognition Leader

ZAGRID SNORLAX
MID EARTH (223) POKE' MON (568)
(29-6858) [15-3-1,129] (29-6941) [4-1-0,18]

Popularity Leader This Week's Favorite

BRINE SUSPECT NEAR WHALE
BLUE HERRINGS (566) BLUE HERRINGS (566)
(29-6903) [11-11-1,115] (29-6906) [12-10-1,75]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

MID EARTH (223)

TEAMS ON THE MOVE TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name Point Gain Chartered Team
1. ALMOST EXACTLY (20) 22
2. MID EARTH (223) 21 AVOID ME! (535)
3. CARDOW HUNTERS (359) 20 Unchartered Team
4. BLUE HERRINGS (566) 19
5. POKE' MON (568) 14 POKE' MON (568)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record W L K % Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns W L K
1/ 1 AVOID ME! (535) 215 124 7 63.4 1/ 3 MID EARTH (223) 9 6 0
2/ 2 ALMOST EXACTLY (20) 845 674 50 55.6 2/ 2 AVOID ME! (535) 8 3 0
3/ 3 MID EARTH (223) 1065 881 49 54.7 3- 1 WAR PARTY (474) 7 3 0
4- 4 WAR PARTY (474) 129 115 8 52.9 4/ 5 BLACK KELTS (233) 6 7 0
5- 5 NEON VELVET (557) 72 66 4 52.2 5/ 6*POKE' MON (568) 6 9 0
6/ 6 BLACK KELTS (233) 322 308 12 51.1 6/ 8 ALMOST EXACTLY (20) 5 6 1
7/ 7 ARMY OF DARKNESS (283) 190 211 6 47.4 7/ 4 ARMY OF DARKNESS (283) 4 8 0
8/ 8 CARDOW HUNTERS (359) 1137 1464 26 43.7 8/ 7 CARDOW HUNTERS (359) 3 0 0
9/10 BLUE HERRINGS (566) 38 62 3 38.0 9/ 9 BLUE HERRINGS (566) 2 10 0
10/11*POKE' MON (568) 9 16 0 36.0 10-10 NEON VELVET (557) 1 0 0

'*' Unchartered team '-' Team did not fight this turn
(###) Avoid teams by their Team Id ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

TEAM SPOTLIGHT

The 2025 Lapurian Year in Review

TOP TEAM RECORDS

MOST FIGHTS
BLACK KELTS 116
ARMY OF DARKNESS 115

MOST WINS
MID EARTH 59
ARMY OF DARKNESS 57

MOST KILLS
WAR PARTY 3
AVOID ME! 3

MOST TURNS DUELMASTERS
NEON VELVET 11
AVOID ME! 9

MOST DIFFERENT DUELMASTERS
AVOID ME! 3
NEON VELVET 3

MOST LORD PROTECTORS
CARDOW HUNTERS 5
I'M THE WOLF 3

BEST W/L FOR YEAR
AVOID ME! 62.16%

TOP WARRIOR RECORDS

MOST FIGHTS BY LP
STANDFAST 72
MONEY DARLING 58

MOST WINS BY LP
PETRIFIED SPONGE 31
HOWLER 27

MOST LOSSES BY LP
STANDFAST 58
MONEY DARLING 36

MOST KILLS BY A LP
STANDFAST 4
LOTS OF KNOTS 4

MOST TURNS DUELMASTER
SMOOTH OPERATOR

HONORABLE MENTION
CANCER

Congrats to all on a good year.

-- Visionist

***---------*---------*---------*---------**---------*---------*---------*---------***

The native girl gave Orv a surprised smile. "You have some herb lore, do you?"
"You could say that," the little spirit replied with an answering smile. "I'm a
land healer. When we're done with the monsters, I will heal the poisoned land here
before I go home."
"I'll pass the word. Maybe some farmers will come and say which fields need
help."
The group of adventurers moved on down the flower-lined road, toward the forest
with the dark and foggy spot in the middle.
Vengeance said, "This chaos gate, is it a big visible stone gate, like when we
fought in Gateway Arena?"
Orv shook his, or her, or its head. "It is a wound in Ghea, which has festered
through the volcanic flow Sheila Greywand used to try and seal it. The world beyond
that breach is as poisonous to our world as our world is to that world." Shaking its
head, it spat to the side, as though tasting something vile. "The breach is under the
polluted water and I don't recommend going through to the other side. It's likely
that the enemy will be on this side, maybe in the water as the poison comforts them.
In case you have to enter the water, I'll make you a salve to protect your bodies and
your equipment, but that won't last more than an hour."
Tortured Trout frowned as he strode down the road. "Sounds like it would be best
to lure them out of the water. What can we do to really piss them off?"
Orv gasped a surprised laugh, sounding as innocent as a child -- a child with
mischief on its mind. "I don't know them well, but I'd guess these invaders are
fanatics who take themselves very seriously. If they think you are making fun of
them..."
Marduk nodded. "So, we pants them."
Teetotaler shook his head. "Nnn... ah. We're talking about making them come out
of the water to fight us. How would that work?"
"I could make an illusion," Trout suggested, rubbing his bearded chin.
Teddy Brewster shrugged. "When we see them, we should simply charge!"
"We hide in the trees," said Vengeance. "Trout makes an illusion of a farmer
pantsing one of the poison weasels. They get offended and come ashore to deal with
it. THEN we charge. Hmm. There are six of us, and seven of them. Orv, do you
fight?"
The little spirit shook its head, then said, "Well... it depends. You can see
that I'm not as big and strong as all of you."
"But you are of Ghea," said Tortured Trout. "Can you poison those things with a
touch?"
"Oh. Yes, I suppose so. But if I am slain, I can't heal the land."
"We won't include you in the fighting line, then. Or Trout, either. You guys
are support. The five of us can take those evil weasels."
They had been walking rapidly as they made their plans. Now, they were in the
forest, which looked sick. It was mostly oak and maple and sycamore trees, which
should have had green leaves on this warm island, but all the leaves were shriveled
and black, and curled up on the ground. The tree skeletons looked twisted, as though
they were in pain. The group of fighters walked up a small rise in the land, and
looked down upon a swamp, pools of bubbling yellowish water that stank of sulfur and
rot.
Vengeance looked at Orv. "Can you tell where they are?"
The nature spirit stretched out its arm, pointing at a particularly large pool.
"Four of them. The other three might still be in their own world."
Teddy Brewster shifted his feet, hefted his sword, and snorted. "Let's just
charge."

DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
Notes from the arena champ.

7 DM Titles under my belt, and heading into the dangerous, dangerous Face-To-Face in
that cowboy town of Tempe-Phoenix. I am worried. Not for this arena action as the
nincompoops here know to avoid me. In the tournament, the folks are at the who-gives-
a-crapola level and anything goes. Head-hunting A.A ers and Teabaggers abound, and
Killer is ever lurking! One more defend here, then the tournament. Will I survive?
Take your Cancer-avoidance pills y'hear?

-- Cancer, DMVII

SPY REPORT

Welcome to the new year, Lapurians. I hope everyone had an enjoyable holiday season,
but now it is time to get back to work. When I last left you, Cancer still had a
strangle hold on the title. Its streak's still running with 15 in a row and 7 straight
as Duelmaster. Does anyone have any chemo to take it down a notch? Let's find out.

We are down to 10 teams in the ranks, with Neon and his velvet warriors and Obregon
and his tribal warriors extending their holiday. So that gives us 17 fights on the
lists, with one by torch light, one bloodfeud, only two challenges, and the remaining
13 are random matchups. Poke' Mon took advantage of the warrior recycling apparatus by
sacrificing an unknown female. Purple Sage sent his 3RD WAGON DRIVER to avenge the
death of AOIFE ALURE only to have Vlad's END OF BIDET (where does he come up with
these names?) porcelain warrior flush his hopes in a 6 minute beatdown.

HOLD THE PRESSES! Our 14 week nightmare is over. Lapur's seven time Duelmaster CANCER
of AVOID ME! matched up with BRINE SUSPECT of BLUE HERRINGS and the unthinkable
happened: the Bloke's diseased warrior was devastated by the Herring's salty warrior
in a crowd pleasing 1 minute upset Title bout. All Hail the new Duelmaster BRINE
SUSPECT! Sorry Bloke, but everyone roots for the underdog.

In team news, Visionist and his Mid Earth over achievers garnered a 4-1-0 to the top
spot in the ranks. Hanging onto 2nd is the Bloke and his propaganda machine after a 2-
1-0 showing. Obregon and his inactive War Party managed to stay in 3rd. The Team on
the Move is Vlad and his Almost Exactly band, who gained 22 points of recognition this
week. The Most Avoided Team is once again the Bloke and his fearmongers, with 12
avoids. I heard it from reliable sources that eight of those avoids came from one
guild. Plus the next closest guild had only 3 avoids, curious.

Challenge fights...

SKUNK of AVOID ME! challenged ENTITLED CITIZEN of ARMY OF DARKNESS, with the Bloke's
putrid warrior outlasting Master Beru's privileged warrior in a unpopular 24 minute
break for lunch snoozefest.

UPCHUCK of AVOID ME! challenged NEAR WHALE of BLUE HERRINGS, with the Bloke's
regurgitating warrior besting Herrings' cetacean warrior in a exciting 4 minute
veteran's fight.

In Individual Achievements:
This Week's Favorite is SNORLAX of POKE' MON.
The Biggest Winner is HOUN DOG of CARDOW HUNTERS, who gained 20 points.
The Biggest Loser is ENTITLED CITIZEN of ARMY OF DARKNESS, who lost 11 points of
recognition.

Despite my best efforts I was not able to find a fight worthy of my Fight of the Week
and with no last minute invitees that brings my report to a close. 'Til next time.

-- Eoghan McGrimm

DUELMASTER W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
BRINE SUSPECT 6903 PS 11 11 1 115 BLUE HERRINGS (566)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
ZAGRID 6858 AB 15 3 1 129 MID EARTH (223)
-SACAGAWEA 6725 TP 30 18 0 128 WAR PARTY (474)
KUHRIS 6797 PL 17 23 0 103 MID EARTH (223) *
SKUNK 6675 TP 22 18 1 102 AVOID ME! (535)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
-CRAZY HORSE 6733 LU 10 5 1 102 WAR PARTY (474)
WARIUS 6820 LU 16 14 1 97 MID EARTH (223)

CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
ENTITLED CITIZEN 6817 TP 22 13 0 87 ARMY OF DARKNESS (283)
STONE HINGE 3455 AB 16 36 1 85 BLACK KELTS (233)
CANCER 6830 ST 15 1 1 85 AVOID ME! (535)
WAGON DRIVER 3 5412 TP 21 15 0 84 BLACK KELTS (233)
UPCHUCK 6721 TP 20 12 0 83 AVOID ME! (535)
HOUN DOG 6872 ST 10 7 1 80 CARDOW HUNTERS (359)
NEAR WHALE 6906 LU 12 10 1 75 BLUE HERRINGS (566)
DROP THE SOAP 6811 BA 13 10 0 73 ALMOST EXACTLY (20)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
END OF BIDET 6849 AB 5 2 1 66 ALMOST EXACTLY (20) *
APOSTATE POSTMAN 6847 BA 11 11 0 65 ARMY OF DARKNESS (283)
-BATTERSCOTCH 6851 BA 11 6 0 62 NEON VELVET (557)
GRAKUS 6920 BA 8 3 0 62 MID EARTH (223) *
PRETTY ALRIGHT 6905 PL 9 13 1 59 BLUE HERRINGS (566)

ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
ERRATIC EDUCATOR 6826 SL 12 14 1 51 ARMY OF DARKNESS (283)
-HIAWATHA 6857 AB 3 3 1 51 WAR PARTY (474)
LITTLE FISHY 6902 BA 3 19 0 46 BLUE HERRINGS (566)
MAEVE MANIAC 6916 AB 6 5 0 41 BLACK KELTS (233)
SUE CHEF 6848 SL 9 13 0 40 ARMY OF DARKNESS (283)
-TATONKA 6814 WS 9 12 0 39 WAR PARTY (474) *
POPPY POPPINS 6933 PS 6 2 1 36 BLACK KELTS (233)
-POX 6950 3 1 0 34 AVOID ME! (535) [BA-TP]

CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
-WINDINHISHAIR 6860 PR 2 3 0 24 WAR PARTY (474)

INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
SNORLAX 6941 TP 4 1 0 18 POKE' MON (568)
STOMPER ROOM 6954 PL 1 1 0 14 ALMOST EXACTLY (20) *
BRIAR 6940 SL 1 4 0 13 POKE' MON (568)
FROSLASS 6963 WS 3 0 0 12 POKE' MON (568) *
WINDLESS WHISPER 6956 1 1 0 8 ALMOST EXACTLY (20) [ST-TP]
LILLIGANT 6964 PR 1 2 0 5 POKE' MON (568)
ELHAD 6965 0 3 0 3 MID EARTH (223) [ST-TP]
-INCARCERATION 6960 0 2 0 2 AVOID ME! (535) [AB-BA-ST-TP]

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN Revenge?
AOIFE ALURE 6917 3 7 0 BLACK KELTS 233 END OF BIDET 6849 1035
YANGIE 6898 4 5 0 MID EARTH 223 HIAWATHA 6857 1034
FEMALE 6972 0 1 0 POKE' MON 568 RIVER MONSTER 1037 NONE

PERSONAL ADS

Wagon Driver, that was a casual ride, eh? -- Cancer

Snorlax, poke it up yours! -- Incarceration

Lilligant, a pox on you, eh? I had fun. -- Pox

Near Whale, you have to be a full whale, and perhaps that is not enough, to outwit a
well-perfumed Skunk. Learn to avoid. -- Skunk

Some of you haven't learned. Some simply cannot read. Many are just trying to get
their warrior killed for better replacements. Silly managers! AVOID Me! Make it your
New Year's resolution. -- the Bloke

Lacking Kelts -- As a result of your whining in the personal ads of late and, in the
fervent hope that a response would shut your pie hole, I have reviewed all the data
surrounding the kill of that saucy lass Aioli. Let me see if I have this right: Your
terrible warrior -- really, do you run any other kind? -- rightfully chose seppuku
rather than stain her dubious honor by belonging to your guild even one day further.
She had, * checks notes *, more than two times my warrior's fight experience. She
fought with no armor and, as a result, gave my guy Bidet fantastic head. He'd like to
thank her for that, but, alas. Or, in this instance, a lass. Anywho, your veiled
threat of sending along your most experienced warrior to settle the score was not
missed by these sharp eyes. So, I would just beg you in the interest of all things
honorable and holy: Please do. Please send the Wagon down Bidet Way. I, for one,
cannot imagine a more enjoyable and satisfying experience. -- Hugs, Vlad

Decrepit Bloke -- So thrilled that I'll see you (but not me) in the REAL sands in
about a week. I will enjoy your numerous trips to the beach while my big beautiful
balls stay high and dry. Fairways and greens for me but Sand and Out Of Bounds for
you and yours! As far as your warriors go, a begrudging congratulations on your
undefeated striker -- apropos given his name, eh? -- but I must point out that you are
prolly in the softest arena known to Alastari when you consider whose "warriors" your
reprobates are squaring off against. Purple Sagacious? VisionQuest? Neophyte
Necrophiliac? Add in your incessant down-challenging -- in the name of "artistic
license", of course -- and, to be utterly candid, I'm honestly embarrassed for you
that you still manage only a 60%-ish win rate. I send my guys in sight unseen with
strats from two years ago and Almost Exactly is still just slightly behind your
terrible team from a record standpoint. How proud you must be of your puissant
prowess! On that topic, one question: Have you informed your servile and faithful
lackey Gentile Ben about your Lapurian anecdotes? Last I heard, and wrote about, your
proselyte has strong opinions about challenging those below! -- Vlad

All -- I do love Lapur. It's my home arena and, if I dig through enough boxes, I may
find my Charter paperwork from Turn 1 or even the title granted me long ago....
Ombudsman? Council Member? Warden? Something that I can't quite recall. Anyways, I
don't get many chances to read the Lapurain Rag these ads reside in -- unless, like
this evening, I happen to be sitting in the privy lacking something with which to wipe
-- so apologies retrospectively and in advance if I don't see or respond to your
mewling. -- Best, Vlad

Brine Suspect -- I was woried for a second. That makes one for me. -- Kuhris

Entitled Citizen -- You are one tough lady. -- Warius

Sacagawea -- Sorry for the beatdown.not!. -- Zagrid

Little Fishy -- A fishy golem, imagine that. -- Grakus

Windinhishair -- Easy for you to say. -- Elhad

All -- Yangie -- PR -- ST=15 CN=9 SZ=7 WT=15 WL=9 SP=12 DF=17. She showed promise at
first, but then struggled a bit in training. She deserved better. Farewell young one.
-- Visionist

LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

FEMALE was butchered by RIVER MONSTER in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
WAGON DRIVER 3 was devastated by END OF BIDET in a 6 minute one-sided Bloodfeud duel.
SKUNK outlasted ENTITLED CITIZEN in a unpopular 24 minute expert's Challenge fight.
UPCHUCK bested NEAR WHALE in a exciting 4 minute veteran's Challenge fight.
CANCER was devastated by BRINE SUSPECT in a popular 1 minute uneven Title brawl.
ZAGRID devastated M. CHARDINEE in a 1 minute mismatched match.
KUHRIS overcame DROP THE SOAP in a 1 minute expert's fight.
WARIUS vanquished STRIKE BREAKER in a 1 minute uneven duel.
STONE HINGE lost to HOUN DOG in a action packed 3 minute uneven fight.
ERRATIC EDUCATOR was savagely defeated by GRAKUS in a exciting 1 minute fight.
APOSTATE POSTMAN savagely defeated LITTLE FISHY in a 1 minute veteran's fight.
PRETTY ALRIGHT was overcome by TETRICUS in a 1 minute veteran's contest.
SUE CHEF was subdued by MAEVE MANIAC in a 2 minute brawl.
POPPY POPPINS overpowered BRIAR in a 1 minute mismatched conflict.
SNORLAX defeated WINDLESS WHISPER in a 4 minute duel.
STOMPER ROOM overpowered LILLIGANT in a 2 minute uneven struggle.
FROSLASS overcame ELHAD in a 2 minute amateur's bout.

BATTLE REPORT

MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS
|FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT|
|TOTAL PARRY 5 WALL OF STEEL 6 - 3 - 0 67 |
|AIMED BLOW 4 STRIKING ATTACK 27 - 15 - 0 64 |
|BASHING ATTACK 4 TOTAL PARRY 25 - 17 - 0 60 |
|STRIKING ATTACK 4 AIMED BLOW 31 - 22 - 3 58 |
|SLASHING ATTACK 4 LUNGING ATTACK 18 - 16 - 1 53 |
|PARRY-LUNGE 3 BASHING ATTACK 30 - 27 - 0 53 |
|PARRY-STRIKE 2 PARRY-STRIKE 13 - 23 - 2 36 |
|LUNGING ATTACK 2 PARRY-LUNGE 10 - 22 - 0 31 |
|WALL OF STEEL 1 SLASHING ATTACK 11 - 25 - 0 31 |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE 1 PARRY-RIPOSTE 6 - 16 - 0 27 |

Turn 1037 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-STRIKE 2 - 0 STRIKING ATTACK 1 - 3 4 TOTAL PARRY
WALL OF STEEL 1 - 0 PARRY-RIPOSTE 0 - 1 2 AIMED BLOW
AIMED BLOW 3 - 1 SLASHING ATTACK 0 - 4 2 LUNGING ATTACK
PARRY-LUNGE 2 - 1 1 PARRY-STRIKE
TOTAL PARRY 3 - 2 1 PARRY-LUNGE
LUNGING ATTACK 1 - 1 1 STRIKING ATTACK
BASHING ATTACK 2 - 2

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME
AIMED BLOW ZAGRID 6858 15 3 1 129 MID EARTH (223)
TOTAL PARRY SKUNK 6675 22 18 1 102 AVOID ME! (535)
LUNGING ATTACK WARIUS 6820 16 14 1 97 MID EARTH (223)
STRIKING ATTACK CANCER 6830 15 1 1 85 AVOID ME! (535)
BASHING ATTACK DROP THE SOAP 6811 13 10 0 73 ALMOST EXACTLY (20)
PARRY-STRIKE POPPY POPPINS 6933 6 2 1 36 BLACK KELTS (233)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is BRINE SUSPECT 6903. The most popular warrior this
turn was NEAR WHALE 6906. The ten other most popular fighters were HOUN DOG 6872,
END OF BIDET 6849, GRAKUS 6920, BRINE SUSPECT 6903, APOSTATE POSTMAN 6847, SUE CHEF
6848, MAEVE MANIAC 6916, STOMPER ROOM 6954, ZAGRID 6858, and KUHRIS 6797.

The least popular fighter this week was ENTITLED CITIZEN 6817. The other ten least
popular fighters were SKUNK 6675, WAGON DRIVER 3 5412, LILLIGANT 6964, SNORLAX 6941,
BRIAR 6940, PRETTY ALRIGHT 6905, FEMALE 6972, POPPY POPPINS 6933, DROP THE SOAP 6811,
and CANCER 6830.